A Jewish Wedding
A traditional Jewish wedding consists of two parts [Note: I got these names wrong a bit when I spoke Friday Night]:
- The Eyrusin - The betrothal; also called the Kiddushin which means “the setting apart” (lit. “sanctification”)
- The Nisuin - The actual wedding ceremony (would have been held no less than one year after the eyrusin)
The Eyrusin:
The Proposal
The offer to the bride’s father by the groom, his father or a representative.
The bride price would have been no less than the price required to purchase 3 slaves for 50 years (until the year of Jubilee).
Once the groom and bride’s father agreed on the terms the bride was brought in to approve or reject the proposal. This decision would have been hers alone to make. No force could be used to influence her, but if she refused then she could have no piece of the bride price or any other part of the offer made by the groom.
The Shared Cup
I am not sure at what point a cup was shared between the woman and the man, but I have heard at least one teaching where it was the cup that was offered and the cup that the woman would have accepted or rejected with the proposal. That said, regardless of when during the eyrusin the cup was offered I have read many accounts that record a cup being shared by the man and the woman during this ceremony. We remember that Yeshua took the cup and He blessed it and He said, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is shed for you.” Luke 22:20
The Ketuba (the marriage contract)
The ketuba would be drawn up and signed by the groom, the bride and two witnesses. It would stipulate:
- The groom was to provide for the bride’s needs during the engagement period as well as after. Up to this point in the bride’s life it was her father’s responsibility to care for her needs. We will get into how the groom was to provide for her needs during his absence in a minute.
- The bride was to attest to her purity, though the groom could take a “fallen woman” IF the groom’s father agreed to waive the requirement of virginity for his son. [Note: I only saw this mentioned in the article I will link to at the end of this, so you may want to research on your own to verify this.]
Once the ketuba was drawn up and signed it would have been left with the woman. Obviously we can see this as a parallel to G-d’s Word being left with us as His promise and the reminder of it.
The Mikvah (a baptism or spiritual cleansing)
A mikvah was common in Jewish society in Yeshua’s day. It was commanded for many occasions such as when a person had been near a dead body; for a woman who had finished her menstruation (a side note: when we read “unclean” we my think dirty, profane, with sin or something like that, but many times in Scripture “unclean” simply means “not healthy”); a priest who was to enter the Temple and especially as he was about to enter the Holy of Holies. A mikvah was kind of like a spiritual bath to wash off physical and spiritual impurities and was observed by the couple in preparation for their marriage so that they could be kiddushin (”sanctified/set apart”) together.
Time Spent Apart
The time between the eyrusin and the nisuin were to be at least one year; usually two. During the time of separation the two individuals had tasks that they were to perform:
- The groom was preparing a home for the bride. John 14:1 - 3
- The bride was learning how to be a good wife by learning the skills to keep the home up for her husband.
- The groom could provide a friend or “helper” to care for the bride in his stead during this time. Can anyone say, “Holy Spirit”? John 14:15-18 This is how the groom could care for his bride now that she was his responsibility and no longer came under her father.
The Groom’s Father Gives Approval for the Wedding Chamber
The home, the wedding chamber that the groom was busy working on during the period between the eyrusin and the nisuin had to be perfect. It was overseen by his father and was not complete until… you guessed it… his father said it was. It had to be the absolute best the son could do because anything else would reflect poorly on the family. John 14:1-3 reminds us that Yeshua is going to prepare a place. Matthew 24:36 and Mark 13:32 tell us that only the Father knows when Yeshua will return. Only the Father knows when the wedding chamber will be ready. Revelation 21:9-27 and Rev. 22:1-2 describe the chamber the Master is building.
You see now why the time between the eyrusin and the nisuin was so great. The groom had a lot of work to do. You also see why it was an indeterminate amount of time (but at least one year).
Procession of the Bride
Once the father gives his approval the groom sets out with the processional. He invites friends and family, servants and neighbors, and all he can find to follow him to the house of the bride.
She was to be waiting for him. After all, she didn’t know the “day or the hour” when the father would send his son — her groom.
There are 4 main factors to the procession:
- It would occur at an unknown time (Mat. 25:1-13) — usually evening to remember the promise to Abraham that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars in the sky (Gen. 26:4).
- It would be accompanied by a shofar (ram’s horn). (1 Thes. 4:16)
- The bride would be carried to the wedding (1 Thes. 4:17). She would never be allowed to walk. She was traditionally carried in a litter from her home to the new home the groom had built.
- The bride was to be ready, even though she didn’t know when the groom would come.
Wedding Feast
Once the bride was retrieved the procession would return to the new home the groom had prepared. At that point a feast as extravagant as the groom and his father could afford would begin. The feast is a time for joy, music and dancing.
The Bride and Groom Enter the Wedding Chamber
As the feast goes on with all their friends and family for seven days the bride and groom begin their marriage as husband and wife in the wedding chamber.
After seven days they emerge and join their family and friends for the celebration.
Some notes about a modern Jewish wedding:
- The bride and groom will not have seen each other for a week.
- The wedding day is similar to a personal Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement) where the couple fasts and prays as they prepare to become one.
- After the wedding ceremony (the nisuin) the couple breaks their fast together as they take a moment alone together for the first time as husband and wife.
- They will come out and enjoy a large feast with friends and family celebrating and dancing and singing.
- They will traditionally be treated like royalty for seven days as friends and family have them over for large dinners and parties every night.
Referenced Articles:
This is the one I used as my core (nearly verbetim in many parts because they did so well pulling everything together): Jewish Wedding Ceremony which I found using Google (original site).
Here is a Messianic Wedding Brochure that shows the layout of a modern Jewish Wedding (original site).
Some other FFOZ teachings:
Tags: betrothal, bride, bridegroom, shadows, wedding